Is it normal to think about dying

Needless to say, I went on to establish a special and unique relationship with death and dying uncharacteristic of most school-aged children.

Some might think that at this point, I must be certifiably insane, or at the very least incapacitated by deep sorrow and crippling anxiety. How has thinking about death every day changed my life? The simple answer is, in countless beautiful and unexpected ways.

For one, it led me to a rewarding career as a palliative care doctor. Medical expert on end-of-life care. Purveyor of good dying. Keeper of death stories. These are just some of the ways one could describe the work of a palliative care clinician. Just a few years ago while completing my training as a palliative medicine resident, I had an experience that crystallized what I knew to be true all of these years:.

Acknowledging death has the power to change your life. This particular experience involved a young woman on the palliative care unit dying of breast cancer. She was For the first time in my medical training, I was bearing witness to the expected death of someone from my generation.

Her family sat vigil as she moved air through her body in the erratic and unsettling way people do when they go from barely living to dead. I imagined myself in that bed, my own family holding vigil. It stirred up a heavy kind of sadness that settles in your throat, waiting for you to either swallow it down or commit to a full blown ugly cry. I chose to swallow it down, but it stuck like a pit in my stomach for the rest of the day.

I left the hospital that day with a slightly heavier heart, full of the knowledge that as she died, so will I. As my mother died, so will I. Thus, thanatophobia translates as the fear of death. Having some anxiety about death is an entirely normal part of the human condition. However, for some people, thinking about their own death or the process of dying can cause intense anxiety and fear.

A person may feel extreme anxiety and fear when they consider that death is inevitable. They may also experience:. When such fears persist and interfere with daily life and activities, this is known as thanatophobia. In their most extreme, these feelings can stop people from conducting daily activities or even leaving their homes. Their fears center on things that could result in death, such as contamination or dangerous objects or people.

Doctors do not classify thanatophobia as a distinct condition, but it can be classified as a specific phobia. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-5 , a phobia is an anxiety disorder relating to a specific object or situation. Phobias can lead to a person feeling isolated and avoiding contact with friends and family for extended periods of time.

Someone with mild death anxiety might experience heightened anxiety when they think about their death or the death of a loved one, such as when they or a family member is seriously ill. If death anxiety is linked to another anxiety or depressive condition, a person may also experience specific symptoms related to the underlying conditions.

While thanatophobia is defined as a general fear of death, there are many types and causes of this anxiety, and the particulars of what an individual focuses on can vary. Particular triggers for thanatophobia could include an early traumatic event related to almost dying or the death of a loved one. A person who has a severe illness may experience thanatophobia because they are anxious about dying, though ill health is not necessary for a person to experience this anxiety.

Instead, it is often related to psychological distress. Medical professionals link anxiety around death to a range of mental health conditions, including depressive disorders, PTSD, and anxiety disorders. Death anxiety is associated with a range of specific phobias. The most common objects of phobias are things that can cause harm or death, including snakes, spiders, planes, and heights.

A fear of dying plays a role in many anxiety disorders, such as panic disorders. During a panic attack, people may feel a loss of control and an intense fear of dying or impending doom. Death anxiety may be linked to illness anxiety disorders, previously known as hypochondriasis. Here, a person has intense fear associated with becoming ill and excessively worries about their health.

Social support networks may help to protect a person against death anxiety. Some people may come to terms with death through religious beliefs, though these may perpetuate a fear of death in others. These people dying feared death. While avoiding talking about death can reduce a little discomfort in the short term, it probably makes most of us much more anxious to die in the long term.

We fear death, but what if dying isn't as bad as we think? Death terrifies many of us, but is, of course, central to the human condition. Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo. I went to a death cafe to learn how to talk to dying patients. Read more. Meet the death doulas: the women who stay by your side to the end. Reuse this content.