Typically these normal bouts occur when a child is between 18 months and 3 years old, although older children can have passing feelings of separation anxiety during times of stress. The difference between these normal feelings of anxiety and a disorder like SAD is that a child with separation anxiety disorder will experience an extended and extensive period of fear and distress about being apart from familiar people and places and the degree of anxiety or fear is notably out of proportion to the reality of the situation.
Anxiety disorders like SAD are linked to biological, family and environmental factors. Biological factors The brain has special chemicals, called neurotransmitters, that send messages back and forth to control the way a person feels. In addition, anxiety may be learned from family members and others who are noticeably stressed or anxious around a child.
For example, allowing a child to miss school when they are anxious about going, likely causes the child to feel more anxious the next school day. Environmental factors A traumatic experience such as a divorce, illness, or death in the family may also trigger the onset of separation anxiety disorder.
Girls are affected more often than boys. Separation Anxiety Disorder SAD is a condition that causes a child to feel intense worry and fear at the prospect of being away from family members, other people, and even places most commonly home that he cares about. They feel much more anxious, and for a much longer period of time, than other children in the same situations.
What she fears will happen is very unlikely to happen. Physical symptoms usually occur when there is a separation or anticipated separation. They may include:. Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental, emotional and behavioral problems affecting children. About 13 out of every children ages 9 to 17 years old experience some kind of anxiety disorder, such as separation anxiety disorder. All kids experience some separation anxiety. The leave- taking can be worse if your infant is hungry, tired, or not feeling well.
Toddlers: Many toddlers skip separation anxiety in infancy and start demonstrating challenges at 15 or 18 months of age. Separations are more difficult when children are hungry, tired, or sick—which is most of toddlerhood! As children develop independence during toddlerhood, they may become even more aware of separations. Their behaviors at separations will be loud, tearful, and difficult to stop.
Preschoolers: By the time children are 3 years of age, most clearly understand the effect their anxiety or pleas at separation have on us. Your ongoing consistency, explanations, and diligence to return when you say you will are key.
Create quick good-bye rituals. Even if you have to do major-league- baseball—style hand movements, give triple kisses at the cubby, or provide a special blanket or toy as you leave, keep the good-bye short and sweet. If you linger, the transition time does too. So will the anxiety. Be consistent. Try to do the same drop-off with the same ritual at the same time each day you separate to avoid unexpected factors whenever you can.
A routine can diminish the heartache and will allow your child to simultaneously build trust in her independence and in you. Attention: When separating, give your child full attention, be loving, and provide affection. Then say good-bye quickly despite their antics or cries for you to stay. Keep your promise. The biggest mistake I ever made in this regard was returning to class to "visit" my son about an hour after a terrible transition.
I was missing him, and although the return was well intended, I not only extended the separation anxiety, we started all over again in the process. When I left the second time and subsequent days it was near nuclear. Be specific, child style. Separation anxiety disorder is NOT a normal stage of development, but a serious emotional problem characterized by extreme distress when a child is away from the primary caregiver. However, since normal separation anxiety and separation anxiety disorder share many of the same symptoms, it can be confusing to try to figure out if your child just needs time and understanding—or has a more serious problem.
Children with separation anxiety disorder may become agitated at just the thought of being away from mom or dad, and may complain of sickness to avoid playing with friends or attending school. When symptoms are extreme enough, these anxieties can add up to a disorder. But no matter how fretful your child becomes when parted from you, separation anxiety disorder is treatable. There are plenty of things you can do to make your child feel safer and ease the anxiety of separation. Kids with separation anxiety disorder feel constantly worried or fearful about separation.
Many kids are overwhelmed with symptoms such as:. Fear that something terrible will happen to a loved one. For example, the child may constantly worry about a parent becoming sick or getting hurt.
Worry that an unpredicted event will lead to permanent separation. Your child may fear that once separated from you, something will happen to maintain the separation. For example, they may worry about being kidnapped or getting lost. Refusal to go to school. A child with separation anxiety disorder may have an unreasonable fear of school, and will do almost anything to stay home.
Reluctance to go to sleep. Separation anxiety disorder can make children insomniacs , either because of the fear of being alone or due to nightmares about separation. Physical sickness like a headache or stomach pain. At the time of separation, or before, children with separation anxiety problems often complain they feel ill. Clinging to the caregiver. Your child may shadow you around the house or cling to your arm or leg if you attempt to step out.
Separation anxiety disorder occurs because a child feels unsafe in some way. Change in environment. Changes in surroundings, such as a new house, school, or day care situation, can trigger separation anxiety disorder. Stressful situations like switching schools, divorce, or the loss of a loved one—including a pet—can trigger separation anxiety problems.
Insecure attachment. The attachment bond is the emotional connection formed between an infant and their primary caretaker. While a secure attachment bond ensures that your child will feel secure, understood and calm enough for optimal development, an insecure attachment bond can contribute to childhood problems such as separation anxiety. An overprotective parent. In some cases, separation anxiety disorder may be the manifestation of your own stress or anxiety.
Although these two conditions can share symptoms, they are treated differently. By understanding the effects of traumatic stress on children , you can help your child benefit from the most fitting treatment. Rather than trying to avoid separation whenever possible, you can better help your child combat separation anxiety disorder by taking steps to make them feel safer. Providing a sympathetic environment at home can make your child feel more comfortable.
Educate yourself about separation anxiety disorder. If you learn about how your child experiences this disorder, you can more easily sympathize with their struggles. For a child who might already feel isolated by their disorder, the experience of being listened to can have a powerful healing effect.
Talk about the issue. Anticipate separation difficulty. Be ready for transition points that can cause anxiety for your child, such as going to school or meeting with friends to play. If your child separates from one parent more easily than the other, have that parent handle the drop off. Keep calm during separation. If your child sees that you can stay cool, they are more likely to be calm, too.
Encourage your child to participate in healthy social and physical activities. Use the smallest of accomplishments—going to bed without a fuss, a good report from school—as reason to give your child positive reinforcement. Provide a consistent pattern for the day. Routines provide children with a sense of security and help to eliminate their fear of the unknown. Try to be consistent with mealtimes, bedtimes and the like. Set limits. Let your child know that although you understand their feelings, there are rules in your household that need to be followed.
Like routines, setting and enforcing limits helps your child know what to expect from any given situation. Offer choices.
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