Take the opportunity to talk about how she might better respond in the future if she feels threatened. The second is frustration, anger, or other intense feelings.
A major change, such as a new baby in the family or a new home, can cause emotional upset that results in aggressive behavior. Work with your child to learn why she bites, then address her needs, whether for reassurance or ways to express her emotions. These adults are in a perfect position to observe your child's behavior and give you tips on why she's biting.
They can also work with all the kids on resolving conflicts without becoming aggressive. Schedule a meeting with your child's teacher or daycare provider. Ask how she deals with children's disagreements. Does the program have an established approach to conflict resolution?
Is all aggressive behavior prohibited, whether it's biting, punching, or constant teasing? Are children praised for good behavior, or is your child's biting the only way she can get attention? Does the program director or teacher talk with the whole group about topics such as sharing toys peacefully?
A daycare center or preschool should have firm rules on aggressive behavior and be making an ongoing effort to teach all of the children how to resolve their differences amicably. Frances L. Some children like yoga or deep breathing. Offer playdough, foam balls, bubbles, soft music, and other stress-reducing items. Use positive guidance strategies to help your child develop self-control. For example, offer gentle reminders, phrased in a way that tells them what behaviors are expected.
This helps children learn what they can bite safely, without hurting anyone else. How should I respond when my child bites? Follow the steps below with both toddlers and preschoolers. Respond to the child who did the biting. Biting hurts. The child who did the biting can help comfort the bitten child—if both parties agree.
Help the child who was hurt find something to do. Finally, talk to the child who did the biting. Maintain eye contact and speak in simple words using a calm, firm tone of voice. Try to find out what happened that led to the incident. You felt angry. You bit Kim. No biting. What if biting becomes a habit for my child? What strategies can I use to help my child overcome a habit of biting? Observe your child to learn where, when, and in what situations biting occurs.
The best way to get to the root of a biting habit is to look for patterns or clues as to how, when, and why a child bites. For example, toddlers who only bite at day care may be reacting to the discomfort they feel in a chaotic classroom. Use positive reinforcement. By praising children for good behavior, they may not feel the need to seek negative attention and bite. Look ahead.
Anxiety can cause children to act out. As a result, toddlers may be less likely to bite if they know what their day will be like and what to expect in new or high-energy situations. Use sign language. Offering toddlers alternative ways to express themselves can help reduce their frustration and urge to bite. Expressive speech delay. About 10 percent of toddlers are affected by an expressive speech delay. For instance, by 3 years of age, toddlers typically expand their vocabulary from less than 10 words to about words.
They also begin forming complete sentences. Children who do not meet these milestones may become frustrated when they are not able to express themselves, and they may resort to biting as a means of communication.
Fortunately, in the majority of cases, expressive speech delay can be overcome with early intervention by a speech therapist. Biting is slightly more common in boys and tends to happen most often between the first and second birthday.
As language improves, biting tends to lessen. With biting, it's important to deal with the behavior immediately after it happens. The next time your child bites, try these steps:. Discipline usually is not necessary, as most kids don't realize biting hurts. Never hit or bite a child who has bitten, as this teaches the child that this behavior is OK. If you've tried the steps above and the behavior doesn't stop, timeouts may be effective.
Older toddlers may be taken to a designated timeout area — a kitchen chair or bottom stair — for a minute or two to calm down. As a general rule, about 1 minute per year of age is a good guide for timeouts. Longer timeouts have no added benefit. They also can undermine your efforts if your child gets up and refuses to return before you signal that the timeout has ended.
Whether you feel like you've made progress with your child's biting habit or it continues to be a work-in-progress, it's important to create a zero-tolerance culture at home, daycare, and elsewhere.
Biting is common in babies and toddlers, but it should stop when kids are about 3 or 4 years old. If it goes beyond this age, is excessive, seems to be getting worse rather than better, and happens with other upsetting behaviors, talk to your child's doctor. Together you can find its causes and ways to deal with it. Reviewed by: Lauren M.
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